Taking the Low Road Today

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a little neurotic and this blog is my outlet…right? I really wanted to take the high road on here, but today I just feel so low and angry and I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it. So for anyone that doesn’t want to listen to my whining, please stop reading now.

I hate exes – they really, really suck. Mine is just a plain deadbeat anymore. He was horrible when we first separated, but then for a couple years he was great about seeing my daughters and paying his support. Now, since he had his newest addition (5 kids with three women – he’s a keeper!), he’s back to his old ways. Not seeing his kids and either not paying support or paying piddly amounts (seriously…my last garnishment (because he can’t actually pay willingly –ever) from him was $20.25 – what the hell am I supposed to provide for the kids with that!?!). Ugh!

Mr. S’s ex on the other hand is just completely LOONEY!

When he and I first met, he hadn’t been divorced very long. The gist of it was that she “fell out of love” with him. I’m sure there were other issues, but she moved on and got a boyfriend (married him this last April) and then the divorce from Mr. S. He had a pretty regular visitation schedule with his sons while we were dating and he’s a fabulous father to them – what else could she ask for?

After we got engaged, she flashed her crazy card for the first time. She took away some of the voluntary visitation and Mr. S had to eventually take her to court to cut a deal. The judge seriously saw through all her antics and told her he didn’t want to see her in court again over anything so petty, she needed to work things out like an adult. So, after the court case, Mr. S assumed joint legal and physical custody.

Everything was fine until we got married three months ago. His ex has gone into psycho mode. She's been demanding about the boys calling or doing things at our house, shows up when it's not her time (like 15-30 minutes early and honks until they come out), and just acting like a loon.

The straw that broke the camels back was a few months ago when she BURST into our house demanding school pictures that the boys gave their dad. My daughters were at the top of the stairs while she screamed and cussed at him. He stayed back sitting in the chair he was in when she came in and just kept telling her she needed to leave. She finally left, but after that we went ahead and filed a police report just so we had the back up later if we have to go to court. It was such a VIOLATION of my space, I’ve been really angry ever since – I even thought about saying something in front of all the other football parents just to embarrass her, but I didn’t.

Fast forward to this last Friday, he went hunting with two of his sons while I went shopping and to a movie with his other son and my daughters. ALL DAY long his son kept going on and on about his mom (she made pies, she took us to see lights last night (when they should have been home with us – she was over 45 minutes late bringing them home), she ordered us Christmas presents, my mom and my grandma get my Christmas presents (what? – his dad and I don’t?), stuff like that). I was nice and listened to it all, but wanted to scream - SHUT UP - I don't want to hear about her!

Later that night we took all the kids to dinner and on our way home I was listening to him talk to my youngest daughter about his mom again. First he said, "You know, if you were my mom's daughter you could do whatever you wanted and wouldn't get yelled at". I had kind of had it (okay – I had really had it) and piped up saying "well, it's a good thing she's my daughter then so she's well-behaved". Then his other son asked his dad, "Can you leave a girl after you marry her?" Again, I'd had it and shouted, "No, you can't." Right after that, I caught something in the conversation about how their mom was not going to fight fair anymore...WHAT?! At that point I made my husband tell the boys they needed to be quiet the rest of the way home, but WHAT THE HECK!?!

Why the heck are the boys asking these questions? I mean some of the stuff the kids could have just come up with - I understand that. But what is with the "not going to fight fair anymore” - that's totally an adult thing - not a 6 year old phrase. Is this just a jealousy thing? Is she jealous that we have a good marriage and he’s a great dad/provider and NOW she realizes what she lost? Mr. S is not really a persuasive person – it’s not like she can control him – so what’s with the controlling texts and attitude? Using the kids like pawns is so not cool. I realize that it’s not them, so I’m not mad at them. I’m furious at her and I’m a little angry at Mr. S for not defending me.

So, to top off his bad mood right now (I’m not sure what’s up with that – he won’t talk to me and it doesn’t help this situation) I've been making jabs about how she's trying to steal him and take him from me. So mixed with his bad mood and me doing this I get called naggy and witchy and the one with the attitude, but how am I supposed to feel?

Can I just wring her ugly neck?  Beat her to a pulp?

Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice?