One day...I'm only asking for one

I've had a REALLY crappy weekend - SO not looking forward to a five day one (sort of) if it's going to go as bad as this one.

I must preface this blog though before I go on. I LOVE my husband. On any other day I would do just about anything for him. I LOVE my kids and everything about them. I love helping people out and doing what I can for those that I care about - especially for Mr. S's family that has taken me and my girls in so freely. Please remember that as you read this...

As I said - pretty crappy weekend. Friday night I had to close at my freaking other job. I'm a really hard worker - I only call in when I absolutely have to. I thought I'd be fine on Friday, until I got there and the stupid hostess wouldn't move my section (I had a section with a huge table - there's no way I could have carried those trays without hurting myself). Luckily, there was a really nice girl and we traded one table so she would take the big one. I really should have called in though - I over-did myself.

Saturday I woke up in tears (I guess I haven't written on here - I cracked my rib coughing last Saturday night). My chest hurt SO bad - but we had to get up early because Mr. S was taking the boys to wrestling and JrMsS had an early basketball game. Once the Advil kicked in - we were on our way. JrMsS did REALLY well at her game and then the girls and I went grocery shopping where they were super helpful with lifting heavy things. After dropping off the groceries, we had to go help out MrS's family with setting up for the fundraiser for his little cousin. I absolutely wanted to help out, but I was so exhausted and sore - I really just wanted to go to the clinic in town to see if they'd help me - since my doctor wouldn't - but I stuck it out until everyone else packed up to go home and change. It didn't leave me enough time to go to the clinic, so I just went home and changed.

Mr S got home and then we went back to the community center to start things off. The fundraiser went really well. I'm glad that they had such a good and generous turn out. However, I was upset that I ended up stuck in the kitchen and didn't really enjoy the night much - Mr. S also got stuck pretty much in there too, but at the bar. I don't know - we really haven't had much time together and even though we were 20 ft apart - we still weren't together. I started flirt texting which really didn't go over very good. We started cleaning up and NO ONE was in the kitchen - of course - so who was going to get stuck washing ALL the dishes - me. However when I complained, Mr S went over and did them - or I thought he did. I was even bragging to his cousin and grandma about what a good husband he was. But once I got done with a bunch of the other cleaning I realized they were still semi-dirty - he did a half-assed job. That pissed me off - I was tired, hurting and I DID not want to do dishes - then he started arguing about how they were done - just not to "my standards" - no - I think putting things away in the rented kitchen still covered in noodles is not acceptable.
On top of that - as I was standing there slopping the dishes - some drunk girls came over to the bar - admitted how drunk they were and wanted a picture with him. What did my husband do - smiled like a big cheese dog.

Once the dishes that were there were finished I hit a wall - I couldn't stand on my feet anymore and I could barely stay awake - except for the pain. We left with Mr S teasing about the girls that wanted a picture - um - NOT funny. We got home and it took everything in me to get the kids to bed - so uncharacteristically I crawled straight into bed after getting home (I'm normally pretty wired and have to have time to wind down from things). Even in bed, Mr. S was teasing about the drunk girls - I yelled at him about that - WHY would you bring that up in our bed?!!

This morning I woke up so sick and sore - actually I didn't wake up which is COMPLETELY out of character. I'm ALWAYS up before him, I'm ALWAYS the first one up on weekends when nothing is going on. He woke up and that's what woke me up - I stayed in bed though - at least until the kids were up and banging around in the kitchen right below me - seriously - I don't know how they could make anymore noise. I came down and just planted myself on the couch - he had to go and help his grandfather and just told me to rest for the day. Actually it was more - "why don't you sleep for now and when I get home you can do wild and crazy things to me". Ugh

I rested on the couch then he came home and started messing with the Blu-ray player I won in an auction at the fundraiser ($100 - SCORE!). I hate men and gadgets - it's so much easier if I just do it - it turned into a big production and he kept nagging me to look for shelf pins to the entertainment center. Yes, he was right that we had some downstairs in the other entertainment center, but really? I'm supposed to be resting. Once he finished that, I decided I wanted to eat and the kids needed to as well, so I started a pan of spagehetti and then he said he'd take care of it - I walked away and went upstairs to check on the laundry the girls had started (which they did wrong - seriously - everyone in my house is officially BANNED from doing laundry henceforth). I came back down - he was on the laptop in the living room and the pan of food was burning. I feel apart - yelled at him asking why I couldn't have ONE DAY - and went upstairs in tears. He just DOES NOT get it. I cried myself to sleep (completely out of charachter - I DON;T nap unless I'm really sick), at some point he came up and said he wanted to nap with me which was fine - I was SO out of it.

About 4 pm I finally woke up realizing if I didn't get up - I wouldn't sleep tonight. We came down and laid on the couch. As soon as the boys left to go to their stupid mom's he starts in with his "needs" again. Um..what part of I don't feel good means I'm going to do that?!

He made dinner and brought up the subject of what was wrong with our marriage. More than anything we have any time together, even when we're together - it's not quality time - we're either exhausted or busy with something. I've made an effort to cut down my work time - I'm working a third less than I was two months ago. I was really pissed about the picture thing too - he claims to have no memory of me trying to initiate anything with him last night or the picture incident - he claims to have been too drunk (WHY THE HELL DID HE DRIVE ME AND THE KIDS HOME THEN!!!). I'm also upset that when we do have time together - our only quality time is to meet his "needs" and there's no time to meet mine - so sorry if I'm not more into making his "needs"-time a little more enjoyable for him. We're always in this circle - we argue about him not enjoying our sex-life and me not getting the attention I want and then nothing happens. I DO push myself sometimes to make an effort - but it never seems like he does. We had the discussion and then it got left there.

An hour ago he went up to shower and then said he was going to bed - I wasn't even 9:00 yet. He blurts out that we're just not working as a couple - um..what?! Did we not just have a conversation 1 HOUR ago and since then have been sitting on the couch holding hands? Did we NOT have a conversation about how all I wished for was ONE day to be about me - yes I'm being childish - all I want is my mommy to come and take care of me. Since she can't I expect him to baby me a little - why can't this happen ONE DAY?!!! Again he brings up that HIS needs aren't being met, um, what about MINE?!! I'm SO pissed right now. Every other day I make an effort to make sure his basic "needs" are met. When I feel a little nicer/less stressed/less sick, I push myself a little harder - maybe this once I'll get something in return - which doesn't happen. Today was suppossed to be MY day - ONE DAY - that's all I'm asking for and it just get's ruined. If I had just a little bit of attention/babying today - he would have gone to bed happy - I would have figured out a way to make it happen (I've been trying to figure out all day how I can do that and not hurt myself), but no, it's always about HIM! Every day is HIS day or the kids day and I've had it - I NEED ONE DAY!!

Ugh - why isn't there a mom/wife's sick day card I can pull just ONE DAY a year? Seriously - I'd trade it in for all the PTO I get at work to get something like that. Do you ever need a Sick Day from everything?