I'm tired...

I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of coughing…I’m tired of my chest hurting…I’m tired of being a sick , whiney baby. The meds haven’t done anything – so it seems. I rested all weekend and called into my 2nd job to give myself recuperating time (also got a HUGE guilt trip by the dumb hostess when I checked in on Sat. – yeah – really don’t feel bad about not coming in and coughing all over the customers – stupid lady). I’m worried about this week – probably can’t call in again – but the running around and smoky kitchen probably isn’t going to improve my situation…

I’m tired of working my 2nd job. I was starting to think about quitting and then I started getting stupid lawyer bills again. Hopefully I can reduce my days after the first of the year (all depends on my stupid ex I guess though)….

I’m tired of my STUPID ex, court and the whole stupid “legal” process. Seriously – if I was on welfare, the whole process would be SO much easier. But no – I have to pay a lawyer $3000 and waste my time at court. So last week I said my ex had been arrested, we had a court “something” scheduled today, but APPARENTLY he bailed out over the weekend – ugh! And APPARENTLY – HE didn’t have to show up this morning – I still did – but he didn’t. Now I get to go back AGAIN the day before Thanksgiving and he probably will have skipped town. Ugh! My lawyer says the bright side is that we can garnish the bail money – but in reality – that just pays for this stupid-ass exercise and on the 24th he’ll skip again anyway and another warrant will just be issued and three weeks + after that I’ll have to go to court again. I’m sick and tired of this! I slept like crap last night stressing about this and now I STILL don’t have closure. Of course I’m going to see this out, but if you had asked me a year ago to go through this with the information I have now – I probably wouldn’t have pursued I guess – I don’t know – I’m just tired of the crap and I want my DAY in court to get it OVER!! Why do the guilty get so many damned chances?!?!

I’m tired of exes in general. MrS’s ex is a real piece of work. We know from conversations with the boys that “something” is going on. She’s allowed them to basically stay with us whenever they want now, well except for last night. Mr. S has had to do a lot of traveling (and has to do a lot coming up) which affects his visitation. He asked for her to make a deal this week and allow them to stay on Sunday night – she agreed to letting them stay until 8 because she was “being nice”. When Mr.S got home from working ALL DAY long yesterday and didn’t feel like having to drive them home (she ALWAYS comes and gets them – that’s the way they’ve ALWAYS done it), she said he was being mean and was coming IMMEDIATELY for HER boys. The twins even called and asked to stay the night and she said no because SHE HAD to see them – it left TS2 in tears. She didn’t care – it’s all about her. What kind of FREAKING parent is that?! My ex is probably one of the worst on the planet – I would give up my salary for the rest of my life to have an ex like MrS. Why?! Why is it all about HER? It’s never about the boys! For my girls it’s always about them – yes I deny their dad, but again – he’s not MrS. Ugh – I’m SO tired of stupid people.

I’m really tired of RUDE stupid people. I ran into one this morning at the gas station – some stupid lady decided to take up the WHOLE row of gas pumps on the side mine is – literally cutting in front of me with her mini car. I need to go so I tried backing into the slot on the other side and freaking hit those stupid poles that protect the gas pump. I didn’t do any damage to it or any major damage to my car – just rubbed paint from the pole onto my car, but still – I’m SO TIRED of RUDE stupid people!!

Ugh – I could go on….I don't know if it's just emotional, or being sick for so long, or just the general crap, but I'm tired...

I wish I was as cool as Neil, but I’m not…

I’m just tired….