Unknowns

I hate the unknown. I hate change. I hate not having control of my situation. All of these things put me in a really bad mood and make me REALLY edgy. Unfortunately Mr. S and the kids have had to bear the brunt of my edgy-ness (okay, lets call it what it is...my bitchy-ness). Stress also ups the short temper/lack of patience, etc and I'm UNDER A LOT of stress rightn now. I know it's not right and I know they really shouldn't have to deal with me being this way and I REALLY do try, but it's just too much right now.

My biggest unkown is my job. My co-worker left on Friday and this week has been a real-stresser worrying about what I don't know and how I'm going to handle problems with web sites and databases, etc. I know more than anything I just doubt myself and once I'm in the middle of it - I'll do fine - that's usually the way it ends up, but it's just the stress and the change that I can deal with right now. I'm also working on a project that has been a real "cluster" from the beginning. I'm suppossed to lead this Navigator Program for the public, but it's not even designed yet. The project HAD to launch Friday partly because they want some pilot participants, but also because there is a recall election for the mayor this week and he wants to make it look like he's doing a bunch of good things for the city (he sucks - kick him out please - I'd vote him out, but I don't live there). So now I have 14 people signed up and have no clue what I'm suppossed to do with them. Nothing has been designed. I guess we'll all figure it out together. I know this will all work out, again, it's just the "unknown".

I'm also having a weird health problem. This my be too much TMI, but I've been bleeding/spotting for the last couple of weeks. I went to my Dr's Nurse Practitioner a week and half ago, but because nothing was happening at the time, she couldn't tell me anything. So yesterday I started bleeding really heavy and had blood clotting (sorry, I know this is gross but it's freaking me out). I went into urgent care, they took some blood and urine to rule out infections, stds, pregnancy and it's none of that (I knew it wasn't the middle one, whatever). The dr thinks it's either a hormone thing and I need to change my birth control (sucks - this is the ONLY kind that's worked for me without side effects) or I have an ovarian cyst (since I have some pain on my left side). He said to make an appt with my regular dr ASAP so she can rule it out. So of course I came home and googled cysts which most of them are absolutely fine, they go away in a few months/weeks, even if you have to have surgery it's not that bad, but still - it's an unknown - I don't know what the heck is wrong with me and I hate it. Guess I'll make an appt tomorrow and see what she says.

Do unknowns and change bother you?