What a difference a day makes

Friday was my day from Hell.  All week I'd been "slow" (not really that I didn't have anything to do - just not at the hurricane pace I'm used to), Friday had a ton of deadlines though. My biggest one was this 6-in thick Construction Quality and Assurance document that has to be filed with Iowa DNR on Monday AM. So between racing to get that ready and needing to go to work at my second job - I was under a lot of pressure. Ultimately, I didn't get my final files until after 3 (I had wanted to leave at 2:30) and still had to finish printing, assembling and burning electronic versions. Around 4 I couldn't decide if I was calling in to second job or not, but no matter what I was working late (my other option was to go in Saturday or Sunday to finish - but in my mind - that was NOT an option) also, my job at Large Engineering firm comes WAY before my second job - if I lost my main one for not completing it (not that it would happen, but..) - second job is NOT going to pay the bills. I finished at 5:35 and was getting nagged by the shuttle drivers to get my butt downstairs or I'd have to walk to my car - not really something I wanted to do with all of the crap I had to carry for the conference today. I made it home, changed and got to my second job by 6:30...of course we were swamped and I think all the waitresses were mad at me.  Whatever....When I got home after 9:30 (over 14 hour day) finally - I was tired, stressed, not feeling good (I've been sick/had allergies or something since Wed night) and I was kind of annoyed with Mr. S (not going to spell it all out here - he was (is) in the doghouse). Anyway...bad day.

Saturday didn't start off very well, I was still tired, sick and stressed out and Mr S started nagging me about getting my car in (it's had a check engine light on all week). We got it dropped off, he made breakfast casserole, we all cleaned house and then went to JrMrS's last football game of the season. I got a call from the dealership about my car while we were watching the older kids play their game - I had a stupid evap warning (basically because Mr S put gas in my car and then didn't screw the cap on tight - the engine didn't like that it didn't have the "pressure"). Luckily it was an easy fix and they didn't even charge me for the time/labor! I have dropped LOTS of money with them - so they're nice and give me breaks every once in a while (nice thing about living in a small town). Anyway, that relieved a TON of stress and I was able to enjoy the game (except for my throat killing me). JrMrS's team won the game and then I was finally able to get some pictures up close in his uniform.

oh..kay..something is going on

So the other day I was complaining about what a psycho Mr. S's ex is. Something WEIRD has happened the last couple of days.
Yesterday, Mr.S picked up the boys for his WHOLE two hours extra that she's "granted" him on Tuesdays before practice. Before they left though Twin Snowflake 2 was adament that he did not want to go to practice and wanted to stay the night at his dad's house.  He called his mom, but she of course couldn't make a decision at the moment.  She promised she'd call him back at 6 - so it meant he had to go to practice.
At 6 she didn't call and Mr. S asked for him.  She couldn't give an answer then either - she just HAD to talk to HER sons and make sure it was really what they wanted.  Umm...he called you and asked...doesn't that mean he wants it? Duh...
Anyway, she got to practice and had a LONG drawn out talk with the twins.  TS2 "convinced" her it was what he wanted, but she wouldn't let him stay since he didn't have a jacket (um this ALL could have been avoided if you'd just let him not have to go to practice) DUMB!
Mr. S and JrMrS went to pick him up after practice (he was also staying), when he asked him to run in and get TS2, he made the comment that "oh mom is probably in there trying to convince him not to go". He also made another comment about how he wishes they could just stay with their dad.  Hmm..either they're finally seeing her for who she is...or something is going on.
They were really excited when they got home and loved the dinner I made (cheesy chicken and tomateos - yum!). They seemed really comfortable, more than normal, and something about them made it seem like they were escaping to a haven. It's great - I just don't understand though.
So today, JrMrS called his mom this evening and asked to stay again.  Super weird...

Just a few thoughts...

Kind of a mixed bag today...
Yesterday was a pretty relaxing day. MrS really wanted to watch the 7/8th graders play football, so we went early to watch them kick Mo Valley's butt :) Unfourtunately MrS's ex is a COMPLETE dusche and wouldn't let the boys come early (and when JrMrS did get there - she just dropped him off - she lives like 4 blocks from the school!  Why wouldn't she just let us bring him!! grr...). JrMrS's team did pretty well, but only won 6 to 0 (still beat 'em though!). We came home, I cooked enchiladas (I'm not being stuck up or anything, but I make THE BEST on the planet) and then settled in for some movie watching.  We watched How to Train your Dragon with the girls and then watched Kick Ass - I was very surprised by how violent that movie was.  I expected some violence like other super-hero movies, but not bloody violence (seriously - you saw what human looked like blown up in a microwave - gross). Minus the bad movie and the stupidness of MrS's ex - it was a good day.

JrMrS is #35

Where to start?

Hi...I'm a bad, bad blogger. How did SO much time get away from me?  A lot has happened-yet it just has seemed to day-to-day for us I guess-we live at a CRAZY pace. So, to catch up, here's some high-level bullet points...
1) JrMsS has been playing volleyball this fall. It's been fun to watch her, this being her first year I think she did really well (especially this week).  Today was the playoff tournament. They did really, really well.  However because Stupid Mo Valley cheats ALL THE TIME, we were eliminated pretty quickly.  Oh well.  I'm excited that she's looking forward to playing next year and LMS will be old enough to play too. Tuesday is the start of Basketball...

I hate him..I hate him...I hate him...

WHY do my daughters have to experience so much heartbreak over some dumb-butt who they call their dad? HOW do I protect them? I’m SO tired of seeing them hurt over his actions (or actually his non-action).


The girls and I were driving to school this morning and on the radio they were talking about co-habitating and marriage and how whether or not you live with someone before marriage isn’t always an indicator of a long-term marriage. One of the DJ’s mentioned something about how he’s known couples who lived together many years and then after they got married they divorced 6 months later. LMS asked me how long MrS and I had been married and I told her a little over a year. Then JrMsS asks when they’re going to see their dad. I’m not exactly sure where she got that from the conversation – maybe about couples breaking up with kids.

My heart crumbled at that – although it was dark – I could hear in her voice that she was on the verge of tears. This topic hasn’t come up since Christmas, even Father’s Day they didn’t actually ask to see him, just to send him the cookies they made for him, which I ended up letting them eat themselves. I’ve seen and had to deal with him this year (unfortunately), but they haven’t seen him in over a year.

I explained to her that I haven’t heard from their dad in a really long time (sort of true). LMS asked why their dad couldn’t ever come to their school. I told her it wasn’t because of anything I had said or done, but because he CHOSE not to come to their sports, activities, musicals. I apologized for his behavior (why do I have to apologize?!) and when we stopped in front of the school and by now they both have tears – I tried to remind them how much I love them and how even though he doesn’t make the effort, there are a lot of people in their lives that they are blessed with who do (MrS, his grandparents, my sister, etc). They just nodded and got out of the car.

I HATE that I had to leave them that way this morning! I HATE that they have to have their heart broken over and over by this slug! Its one thing for him to hurt me – but WHY our daughters?!

Last week we had our follow up court appearance for the whole child support thing. He didn’t show, so as of next Wednesday there will be a warrant issued for his arrest and I was pleased to find out that as long as he’s in the county – they will actively look for him (obviously not a man-hunt, but it’s not just going to be sitting on a computer somewhere). If he leaves the county – like if he ever ACTUALLY goes to school like he said a year and a half ago (yeah right), I will have to have my lawyer work with that county sheriff. Our hope is that he’ll end up in jail and after a few days in there (or whatever they do – not pleasant though I’m sure), we’ll go to him with the offer I’ve discussed before. I’m counting the days…

The upside of them being upset this morning is that as they got out still crying, the walked into the building arm-in-arm totally missed the Kodak moment – dang it!). I’m really happy they have each other for support. I know this is not the last time they will shed tears over this heartless man, but I hope by not “sheltering” them from the truth of who he really is, will help them learn and grow so that they can be less affected by him (like me).

How would you have handled the situation?