If I had one word to describe the last week (and the week to come), it would be CHAOS - pure chaos. It’s been SO busy and pulled a MILLION different directions this last week. To sum it all up is just going to require a brain dump. Stop reading if not interested…
Last Saturday, Mr. S’s cousin got married (Congratulations B & J!!!) and Mr. S and I co-hosted the wedding. They had a really beautiful wedding and for as many people as they were expecting (over 400), they pulled off a really nice reception. The only thing that kind of sucked was that Mr. S and I didn’t get to spend a whole lot of time together at our first wedding as a married couple and getting him to come out of the bar (that was his job) to dance with me was a chore. My job was cutting cake. I’m a horrible cake cutter and trying to dismantle a four tier cake and grooms cake and portion them out to 400 people just didn’t work out very well (sorry Aunt R). Once the cake was all gone – I got to try wine slushies – wait – wine slushy doesn’t exist – trust me. After the cake was all gone, I decided to go to the bar and hang out with Mr. S since he wasn’t going to come out (the man was serious about his job). I found a couple of frozen bottles of wine in the fridge, so we pulled them out to unthaw. Well, the WINE wasn’t frozen, the juice was and since I’m a sucker for slushy drinks, I started pouring it for myself. Note to all of you: WINE DOES NOT FREEZE!! Basically I drank a bottle of alcohol (yeah ‘cause I couldn't stop with the first half a bottle and once I got down to the juice melting, I switched to the other). Bad, bad choice. Anyway, it was a late night and after helping clean up, Mr. S, the girls and I didn’t get home until about 1 am (I'm old - staying up until 11 is a CraZy night).
Sunday was a “recovery” day. Although at least I didn’t have a wine hang-over (those are much worse to recover from – at least in my experience). Geez.. Mr. S tried out his new MONSTER of a grill. I spoiled him last week by buying him a grill that is about as big a grill as I’ve ever seen. It has a cook top, a gas grill, a charcoal grill, AND a smoker. Tell me I don’t love my husband. He was like a kid last week trying to figure out his inaugural meal on it, he settled on grilled potato salad and some kind of fancy strip steaks (sorry I forgot the name – the recipe is on the Williams Sonoma website though).
Monday kicked off our 14 days of hell. Okay not hell, but certainly not something I want to repeat for a VERY long time (how much do you want to bet that next year at this time I won’t have learned my lesson and be complaining again?). Between jobs and kid-logistics, it has been a tough week and it’s not going to be any better next week. Monday, we interviewed ANOTHER person for my old job; I RACED around trying to get ready for a client orientation for a public meeting this week (why do we NEVER learn our lesson? Every deadline is like this); then we had JrMsS’s first swim meet and LMS’s softball game. Mr. S and I were able to divide and conquer and we had the two events covered. JrMsS is such a fish, it’s so fun to watch her compete in swimming (and yay – another sport to learn). I feel bad though, Mr. S caught my cold/virus and he ended up going to urgent care that night to see if he could get on meds too, unfortunately he didn’t get as good of a doctor as I have and the stupid guy refused him (luckily he’s feeling a lot better now). So Monday was a pretty late night for all of us.
Tuesday work was so crazy, I hate that we’re constantly pushing things to the VERY last minute (and how the HECK do we miss so many stupid things in editing? R ST DR??). Because Mr. S’s ex still had the boys on “vacation” we at least got to skip their baseball game that night and Mr. S had a night of recovery. We also got the time to watch Valentine’s Day; do I not have the best husband?
Wednesday was our client orientation and it went well, but was a TON of work. I had to work at the dumb restaurant that night, so Mr. S’s grandpa helped with carting kids around. Mr. S drove JrMsS to her swim meet and LMS went with grandpa and grandma to her game. Again, another LONG night – the girls didn’t make it to bed until after 9:30 (which is tough on a kid when they’re waking up early and running all over the place everyday - that and I thought JrMsS was coing down with the virus too).
Okay, if I had to pick a day out of the week that really was hell, Thursday would be it. I had a report dumped on me that of course had to be done by the end of the day, we had a client meeting to go over all of the changes for the public meeting from the meeting the day before, I had to work hand in hand with our designer to have all of the changes made (since he can’t do them all on his own right the first time – ugh – seriously $120 for a font is SO worth it to not have to work with him) and then because Mr. S had to work out of town, I had to leave work by 3 to start the kid hauling (seriously? Why the heck do they do this to parents? The schedulers must not have jobs or something). (oh and in the middle of all this, the AC broke at my rental house again - so I was freaking out about a HUGE bill for that - lucked out though this time, not too bad) We were finally getting the boys back and the day before, Mr. S had it all set up for the boys and girls to be at Kid Care all at the same time for me to just run in and pick them all up. Do you think it worked that way – NO. His STUPID ex and his STUPID ex’s husband had to mess it up. I got to the school and the boys were not there. I couldn’t get a hold of Mr. S because he was in the middle of a corn field in the middle of nowhere. I was freaking out because we were tight on time and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. I started driving towards the pool to see if they were with that Kid Care group and guess who passes me going the other way – yep, the stupid ex’s husband (she was not in the car). I flip a U (which is SO not easy on a tiny road in a big truck) and sped to catch up with them. Of course because they live with their heads up their butts, he didn’t see me, so I had to pull up beside him while he’s driving through the parking lot and wave the boys over. He FINALLY stops and the boys transferred vehicles, he drove off and the kids and I were able to get going. I asked the boys why they hadn’t come to Kid Care and they said it was because their step dad said no one was there. Ugh –what does he know!?! Mr. S had it ALL set up – the girls had been there ALL day!! Again, they live with their heads up their butts and obviously, not even getting JRMrS to his game on time matters to them. We went to the house (because of course she couldn’t get Jr.Mr.S ready for his game ahead of time), ran through McDonalds (seriously? I spent over $30 dollars on freaking chicken wraps), and drove the 45 freaking miles to the baseball game. As we were pulling into the parking lot, Mr S finally calls me back and asks what the heck happened with the pick-up of the boys. APPARENTLY, his STUPID ex called and said that I had almost hit her husband’s car driving crazy through the parking lot, screamed at her husband, screamed at the boys, and peeled out of the parking lot, how could he dare leave HER boys in such bad care?! WHAT?!! SERIOUSLY??!!! So APPARENTLY, her STUPID husband told her some stupid lie. I did not do anything erratic with a vehicle, except maybe flip the U and at that point HER boys were not in there. I DID NOT yell at her husband – I never got out of the vehicle, nor rolled down the window to say the choice words I had for him. I DID NOT scream/yell at the boys, all I said was they need to hurry up so we could go (I even verified it with the boys after he told me that – I did feel bad if I had, I knew it was the heat of the moment and I was pretty close to snapping, but luckily they said I hadn’t). And her STUPID husband was gone before I pulled away – how the HELL does he know how I left the parking lot?!! Ugh – I HATE, HATE exes!!!!!
Anyway, we made it to the game on time, JrMrS did very well, but it was just another long night. We didn’t end the games until the freaking storm started rolling in, which meant I had to keep the kids calm and watch the wall cloud off to our right (somehow I was able to drive around the worst of it) and once the kids and I got home, of course since he hadn’t seen them for a week I had a hell of a time getting them (and him) to separate and get ready for bed, none of the kids went to bed until after 10. I went upstairs to change and realized our bathroom was out of toilet paper, that’s when everything started crashing down on me – I had to scour the house for toilet paper (of which we only had one extra roll and two out of four bathrooms completely out) – and after I got it put in our bathroom I just cried to Mr. S for about half an hour about how chaotic our lives are that we can’t even have toilet paper in the house, I’m sick and tired of working 55 hours + a week between the two jobs and still feeling like I’m not getting ahead, how I hardly ever see him, or spend quality time with the kids outside of a vehicle, how I feel like when I am at work I can’t get a breath (seriously I feel like all I’m doing is breathing in water and getting smashed again and again by the waves). I have to repeat, I LOVE this man. He was very sweet and listened to me and tried to give me some suggestions (all of which I’m probably not going to take because I’m a masochist like that), but it was just nice to dump. (Um, obviously I have a WHOLE LOT more to dump, because I woke up at 5:30 this morning to write this).
Friday wasn’t any better, well maybe. It started off bad though. I stopped by the department admin’s office to find out the status of the interview we did and she said they should hear that morning if she’s going to accept the offer that was made. She also told me that she could be able to start as early as Monday, which I freaked out on her about – I can’t do it Monday?!! I have a MILLION things to do – I have a public meeting to get ready for – the EARLIEST I could do ANYTHING with her would be Friday. I also dumped on my cube-mate which had some really great advice for me – MAKE TIME FOR SNOWFLAKE this weekend!!!! (we’ll see how the weekend goes…) My day was insane. I’m the type that “flags” my outlook deadlines and things that can’t slip through the cracks (Mr S says just I love the red flags), so guess how many red flags for due and overdue things I had yesterday? I’ll give you a minute….
…did you guess 74?!!!! Yes, that is how deep my hole is right now. Ugh. But, that was only 10 am. Of course everyone’s emergency is obviously mine somehow, so I had another last-minute report thing dumped on me that had to be done by noon, on top of everything else that had to be done by noon. I swung by the printer and found admin resumes, the poor department admin got dumped on by me again – I freaked out because now NO ONE is going to relieve me of my other duties (why should I be surprised? It took them two years to fill my position last time). I guess I can’t have it both ways, huh? So I went on another roller-coaster of defeat and overwhelment. By 1 pm though I just didn’t care anymore about the work and deadlines – I’m one person, there’s only SO MUCH I can do, so I did what I could and forced myself to walk out the door at 3 so I could go and buy toilet paper (and many other things – of course about 2 am this morning I realized we’re still out of dishwashing tabs – Doh!) I was feeling great – I was going to drop off groceries – get ready for my other job – and then just try to tackle things as I could. That was until I was less than a mile from home and I passed Mr. S running into town to pick up dinner and the kids were left at home. I walked in to a house that looks like it exploded on itself. Okay maybe not that bad, but seriously – my counter was covered in cookies, a basketball, clothes from swimming, lunches that were uneaten (but opened and completely crumbled in my hand when I was trying to deal with it) and mail (which I found the vet sent us a card with my husband’s ex’s name on it – HELLO!! I’m the one that paid for the service!!!). In addition to that kids are running all over getting uniforms on, there are shoes in my living room, books on the floor and more stuff dumped on the stairs. I got the kids more in order and my kitchen cleaned enough so groceries could be brought in and then sent the kids out to bring in groceries while I yelled at the vet (yes, I know it shouldn’t bother me, but it does – I’m SICK of getting mail for me addressed to HER!). Well, I didn’t get halfway through my introduction before all hell broke loose in the garage. Apparently LMS thought they were done getting grocceries out, but TS2 still had his fingers in the trunk and because JrMrS was upset about him getting his fingers stuck he was screaming at LMS. So I come out to two crying kids and a screaming one – of course how do you handle that? I got TS2 in the house looked at his fingers, told him to sit down and wait for ice and then yelled at the other two to find out what was going on. JrMrS was freaking out on LMS about the accident because this is the THIRD time TS2 has had his fingers slammed in car doors. I got LMS in the house and told her to wait for me and since JrMrS wanted to still argue with me, I yelled at him about how it was an accident, it’s not her fault TS2 has had his fingers slammed in doors 3 times– this is her first time doing it, he has NO right to yell at her if she did do something wrong – that was my job. Of course this happened much faster and was pretty emotional. He started crying so then I had THREE crying kids on my hands. Ugh! I got the frozen veggies out for TS2's hand, calmed LMS down, and went back and explained to JrMrS that the only reason I was upset was because he shouldn’t have been over reacting to the situation, if people need to be yelled at or punished that was MY job. I went to get ready for work and of course Mr. S walked into the chaos. TS2’s fingers were fine except a little skinned skin (luckily) and all of the kids except JrMrS sat down to eat – he was still too upset – which of course upset Mr. S. Ugh – I can’t win. I left for work and on my drive there Mr. S called me and was trying to make excuses for JrMrS’s behavior and how yelling at yelling doesn’t help the situation, etc. I of course argued back that it doesn’t excuse his behavior – I understood he was “protecting” his brother, but he does this all the time about stuff (remotes, kids being in his way for tv, breaking his legos, etc). I was pissed. I really, really did not want to walk into my crappy job this way. I felt like I had been reprimanded by him and I had no right to be (of course JrMrS probably felt that way too – but still). I texted him and told him that in the same situation he couldn’t tell me that he wouldn’t have reacted the same way ( I left my phone in the car and of course worried about his answer all night). I figured he was going to keep up the argument and it was just going to be bad when I got home (a whole him and JrMrS against me thing). When I finally got out of work though, he had written back that yes, he probably would have reacted the same way, he understood and that he loved me (Have I mentioned I love him yet?). I felt better and things were a lot calmer when I got home. Of course because games went so late, the kids again didn’t go to bed until after 10.
It’s going to be a long day today, LMS had a double header and JrMrS has a tournament this weekend. On top of all that I have to work both jobs and go to a father’s day/b-day/welcome the newlyweds back thing. It’s going to be a long weekend…
Five days of hell down…nine more to go…
Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far. This is officially 5 pages in Word and it’s taken me nearly two hours to get it all out. I feel a little better though – I’m really hoping this weekend goes better for us.
Okay, one more thing to throw into the dump – and something to think about. I got papers from my lawyer yesterday for the last hearing. Last night Mr. S made a suggestion that I might actually listen to. He suggested that if we don’t see any improvements by August from my ex (more support , him actually engaging in the girls again, etc) that we give him three options: 1) he pays his support and the daycare and gets his freaking act together; 2) he doesn’t pay and he goes to jail; or 3) He signs away any and all rights to the girls, owes no support – which in turn means no jail, but still owes the daycare and hopefully some day in time we collect. What do you think? I’m torn, I want the money obviously, it’s their right to get it, but on the other hand I really don’t want him involved in their lives, I’m happy with the progress the girls have made and I really, really don’t want that messed up. I’d LOVE to write him off and the girls and I move forward, no looking back. I asked if he was thinking about adopting them – I don’t think he’s there yet though from the answer I got – I don’t know. I know he’s committed to the girls and I and I know I would rather work the two jobs for the next ten years + if I have to as much as I hate it, rather than screwing things up. Advice?
Okay, seriously, I’m done now.
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